Dear Spotify,

Just a quick note to thank you ever so much for offering artists, musicians and songwriters everywhere the chance to preserve our credibility by offering us (spelled: dictating to us) royalty rates that even a crack-head would turn down. We really don't like getting paid for our music, and thanks to you and other apps like you, we won't have to be bothered by it.

Love & Kisses,

Every musician and songwriter in the world.

Reader.... If you make music for a living and would like your own personal email address with "fuckspotify.com" as your suffix, drop us a line at "fuckspotify at hmamail.com" and we will hook you up.